Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, but through whose eyes are we looking? This multimedia presentation highlights our culture’s definition of beauty and compares it to the Word of God. In an honest look at the distortions this world presents to women regarding beauty, we affirm the importance of knowing at any age that “The King is enthralled by your beauty” (Psalm 45:11).

This seminar sensitively addresses the delicate but important topic of God’s design for sexuality. We provide opportunities to have an open discussion regarding messages from our culture, family, and the church in this area, and will empower women to start regularly engaging in God-honoring discussions about our beautiful sexuality.

Penguins must huddle together to survive extreme winter conditions. Similarly, we need to huddle together to weather some of life’s toughest storms. Together, we will explore our need to be reconnected with God and with other women. Through a multimedia presentation and group interaction, we hope to ignite a desire for stronger female friendships and to promote prayer as the strongest foundation upon which our friendships can stand.

This three hour seminar can stand alone or be combined with Eye of the Beholder and Beautiful Sexuality to create an intimacy weekend retreat for your group.

1:01 – Deep, happy breath.

1: 05 –Check Facebook.

1:10 – Clean bathrooms.

2:00 – Etsy play time.

Yadda, yadda.  Point being, I knew exactly what I needed to accomplish.  Little did I know that Abercrombie would ruin my whole schedule.

At 1:05, I sat down with my computer and started scanning through the laments about Madness brackets, complaints about the weather, and updates on baby photos.  Just as I was about to move on to the toilets and mirrors, I noticed a link that an old high school friend had posted about Abercrombie.  Typically, I would continue logging off and accomplishing my tasks, but this headline stopped me in my tracks – “Abercrombie Marketing Padded Bikini Tops to Young Girls.”  The article and accompanying video went on to define young girls as those in the 7-11 range.  Of course, I was horrified.  I instantly posted the article on the facebook wall for our ministry (which is all ABOUT body image and sexuality) and in my own status.  I had barely attached the link before I started getting similarly livid friends expressing their disgust at the exploitation of our children.

As I posted the link, I glanced at the clock.  My bathrooms were waiting.  In a huff, I closed the computer and tromped up the stairs – still fuming.  But there were bigger things to focus on – like, when was the last time I mopped in here and how in the world am I going to get that ring out of the bowl?  Anyway, armed with Comet and a brillo pad, I started cleaning – ready to put my Abercrombie frustrations behind me.  But the more I cleaned, the angrier I got.  I started thinking about my sons.  I started thinking about how I’m going to have to teach them about sex.  My poor babies are going to have to bravely venture through the hormones of puberty, while trying to figure out how to respect both sex and the opposite gender.  Cue in 7 year olds with fake boobs prancing around in bikinis.  And not only will I have to teach them about sex, I have to teach them about women – I have to teach them that beauty is found in every shape and size of girl.  I have to teach them that a women’s inherent worth is not in the slenderness of her jeans or the size of her bra cup.  And at the same moment, Abercrombie is telling my sons that the definition of beauty is so narrow that a 7 year old girl has to change her appearance in order to achieve some (literally) unattainable standard.  So, thanks Abercrombie, for making my job a whole heck of a lot harder.

And as I got angry for my sons, I started thinking about the sweet girls they will one day marry.  I thought about how ridiculously hard it is to be confident in your body, to like who you are, to be content in your own skin.  And then I thought about all the mixed messages that they are going to be growing up with.  It absolutely broke my heart to think that my future daughters might be buying into lies that their bodies are not good enough or that they have to be sexual to have value.

So there I was, slumped on the bathroom floor, angry and overwhelmed and covered in comet.  Then, just like always, I was aware that I wasn’t fuming on the bathroom floor alone.  My God was just as ticked off as I was – even more so.  So there we sat, commiserating on the bathroom floor.  I asked him what I should do.  Obviously, boycotting was an option but since I never buy any of their clothes – well, you know.  Should I write a letter?, I asked Him.  Then He sweetly reminded me that I had the ear of the God of the Universe…and that there was no greater way to affect a change than to ask Him for it.

So, all this to say, I owe Abercrombie a big “thank you.”  If it weren’t for their sexualization of children, I would not have spent naptime praying for the sexuality of my own.  If it weren’t for their exploitation of little girls, I probably would not have begged God to protect my future daughters-in-law.  And if they hadn’t broken my heart for our kiddos, I might not have identified more deeply with His heart for them.

And I also may have prayed that a giant tornado would destroy all of Abercrombie’s marketing files…  but you’ll never know.

• The Women!  As always, the people that we were able to share the weekend with “made” the experience for us.  I can’t tell you how many women poured their time, energy, and love into preparing this weekend event.  We were so blessed by the women who served this weekend, from Olivia and Stephanie being brave enough to share their beautiful story with us to Rachel Fox bringing us hot tea while we prepared (not to mention making journals, running media, baking cookies, overseeing the set up, yadda yadda..) to Jenny and Michelle setting up the facility to Hope manning our merchandise table to the Tonya filming the event… (Hannah, Ashley, who am I forgetting?  There were dozens of helpers!)  I could go on and on.
• The Discussion!  Not only were the women who served us amazing, but so were the women in attendance.  We were blown away by the vulnerability, insight, and openness of the Coast community.  So much of the “success” of our material is based on how far people are willing to dive into it…and these ladies attacked it!  The sexuality seminar has been around for a long time, but the friendship seminar is still in its infancy.  We loved getting to watch the women embrace it (and teach US as well!).
• The Spirit!  Cheesy as it is to give a shout out to God, I’m gonna do it.  In the weeks preceeding the seminar, we begged God for His presence to be thick in that school.  We are very aware of our need for Him, and we asked Him to do those things we never could … bring deep-seated healing, redemption, and conviction.  And did He ever show up.  It was so beautiful to get the opportunity to sit back and watch Him explode His extravagent love on us all.  Watching Him do His thing never gets old.

Because no one wants to read a Facebook novella, I’ll stop there.  But know that I am only scratching the surface of an incredible weekend.  We thank God for our trip to San Diego, and hope it will be the first of many.